1999-06-30 - Why?
Wednesday Questions, Part 2
Revelation 21:4 And he shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning; or crying or pain; the first things have passed away.
I flew out of Phily on Dec 6th … it was easy talking with the guy sitting next to me. He had the bluest eyes! We chatted the entire flight, the conversation flowed so smoothly it surprised me. When we were getting ready to unboard, he asked if I would call him sometime, that he would like to hear from me again. I said sure and he gave me a card he had written his name and phone number on … I decided to look for the card to call. But I could not find it anywhere. I had remembered his first name..and thought I had seen his last name … but was not certain. Oh well, I thought, it was not meant to be.
(They eventually did figure out how contact each other through several amazing circumstances)
I live in …and he lived in … He called me often and it was so easy to talk with him. I felt so comfortable with him and he kept telling me the same. We started dating. He had complained of pain in his back that had progressively gotten worse. I encouraged him to see his doctor to get it checked out. It was about a month after we had met, January 9th, when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. When he told me he also told me that he did not want to strap me down. I told him that I did not feel strapped down.
We had so much in common it was scary! He did woodworking and so did I. He liked fishing and so do I. He liked pool and so do I. He even liked going to craft shows -- amazing! Ran died on May 10th from pancreatic cancer. It was the most horrendous thing I have ever endured. Why would God bring someone into my life when I thought I would never love again after two failed marriages only to take him away so soon? Ran and I would have been perfect together; there were so many things we wanted to do together.
I must admit that your story has caused me to ask the very same question: "Why?" I only ask it from an level of inquiry since I am not personally involved, "Why would God do this?" The Question for you is deeply personal and I thank you for entrusting it to me and for sharing your story. I hope that I can encourage you and all those who have lost their soul mates here on earth.
My fiancee made an interesting observation when I first read your story to her. As soon as I finished reading she said, "Maybe he was not put into her life for her, but she was put into his life for him." In other words, maybe in the wisdom of God, He knew what Ran was about to experience and to ease his suffering and as an act of mercy to him, He allowed you to be Ran's's helper and friend when he needed one most. And maybe Ran didn't just need a friend, but rather, maybe he needed you, someone with your temperament, interests, desires, and hobbies during his difficult time.
It has long been understood that relations that are close here on earth are likely to be relations that are close in heaven also. God is a God of order and it seems likely that in Heaven relations that have begun here on earth will be continued. When those we love die, we should, we need, to comfort ourselves with these thoughts. There is a great little book on the subject that has been long out of print called, Our Friends in Heaven. The last edition I know of was an 1855 printing. It was written by Rev. J. M. Killen.
Lastly, and maybe most importantly we have the promises of God that we will lack nothing in Heaven. Heaven will be a place of joy (Luke 15:7,10), Rest (Rev. 14:13), Peace (Luke 16:25), Righteousness (2 Pet. 3:13), and Glory (Romans 8:17,18) Heaven will be a place where there will be no sorrow, "… God shall wipe every tear from their eyes." (Rev. 7:17)
Whatever void or emptiness you now feel over the loss of Ran will be fulfilled and made replete by Christ in heaven. These are not my promises to you, but rather God's promises to you (Rev. 22:1-7). Thus, they are promises you and I can stake our claim upon.
Soli Deo Gloria,